The second lesson was something my mom always told me, but I never really believed til after the summer. That is "show me your friends and I'll show you your future." Last year I wasn't making the right choices and I didn't care who I was rude to or what the felt as long as me and my group of friends that I had were happy and having fun we were going to do whatever we wanted. I started mistreating my parents and didn't care for their rules. I was turning 18 and they couldn't tell me what to do anymore. I was almost an adult and I was going to do what ever the heck I wanted to do. I broke curfew, I stayed up all night texting, I didn't do my homework til the last minute, I talked backed, and worst of all I changed my personality to fit in with these so called "friends". I am not telling you these things to make you feel bad for me I am telling you these things because hopefully you can learn from my mistakes and never make them yourself. I was going down the wrong path and no one could get me to see that what I was doing was wrong. I didn't realize this until summer was almost over. My parents did all they could to help me see that but I didn't listen and I wish I would have.
Now I didn't do drugs or get pregnant but if I stayed on the path that I was going down it could have led to that. I am not going to release any names because it's not my place, but I will tell you the stories. The person who I thought was my best friend made me believe that premarital sex was alright if you loved the person. No, thankfully I never did this because I always thought it was wrong for me at the time. I am very thankful for my parents raising me in the gospel so I had the firm foundation that I have. I knew that I could talk to my parents about this and I did, but it was to late for my friend. She had used me and the boyfriend that I had at the time as an excuse to go out and be immoral and I was okay with that. I had lied to my parents, other friends, and her aunt for her and I wish I didn't. Like I said I didn't care who I hurt if my friends and I were happy that's all that mattered. I was very selfish. I let this boy who manipulate my feelings and emotionally abuse me for three months and I thought he was the one I was going to marry. My parents did the best they could to try and teach me the lesson I needed to learn but I decided to learn the hard way. I let this boy get me so stressed that it made my illness worse and I got really sick. Stress is never good on anyone but excessive stress on a person with an illness can put them in a hospital. That is what woke me up from the delusion that my life of being selfish was wonderful and what I wanted.
This is how I made myself so sick. Like I said I am not telling these stories for pity, but out of hope that i can help someone who is maybe going through similar struggles and they can learn from me. One day my friend had revealed to me that she might be pregnant but I wasn't to tell anyone, so I didn't. We had made plans to get her a pregnancy test, because I was 18, I could buy her one. I had that sitting on my shoulders and i new that it was wrong but I couldn't say no. I ended up telling my mom this before we put those plans in action and my mom helped me say no. Then on top of this my boyfriend at the time didn't like me spending my time with anyone but him. But I love my family and they always came first so one night I told him I wasn't going to hang out with him because I was going to be with my brothers. He then through a fit and threatened to commit suicide. Like an idiot I kept it to my self that night and cried myself to sleep. I would have gone into my parents room that night and told them but I talked him out of it and it was very late and i didn't want to wake them up. So I told my mom the moment i woke up the next morning.
The thing about my mom is she always knows when something is wrong. That morning before I could say anything to her she looked at me and said something around the lines of you are keeping something from me, what is it? So I then started to cry and told her everything. About what the boy had threatened the night before and what my friend had told me the week before. Because of all the stress I put myself into I made my heart race way to fast and everything went down hill from there. My mom then talked to me and held me as I begged for forgiveness. She didn't hesitate one second to say that she forgave me. We then talked to the boys father and after that I went to the hospital. My dad gave me a blessing and I knew then what I had to do. Later that week I broke up with the boy and told my friend what I really felt about her immoral activities. Because of the gospel and the amazing parents that I have been so blessed with I was able to overcome these trials and begin to be the real me. I am no longer hanging out with this certain group of people but I am still nice to them when I see them. That is the best thing I can do.
These are all in the past and I wish I didn't take the hard way but I did. I've learned from my mistakes and I hope that you can learn from them as well. The moral of this story is never lie and keep secrets, it's always better to tell an adult who loves you or someone that you know can help. Now the happy stuff! Last year the friends I neglected last year thankfully didn't judge me for who I was last year and still included me. This group of friends came over last night and we all just talked laughed and had good clean fun! We celebrated the love and support that we all had for each other and brought in the new year. I can't wait to make more of these good, happy memories this year. I wish you all a happy new year!!
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| My wonderful friends |
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| The girls that I would die without |
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